hmmm 02.12.
Sometimes, someone will come along and tell you the truth of your own situation so blatantly and bluntly that it knocks the wind out of you. Instead of reassurance and confirmation of what you already know, some people take advice to a new level, and tell you not only what you didn’t want to hear, but also what you never even began to see. This scared me shitless when it happened last week, and it was bizzare for someone so far removed from my own emotions and so unfamiliar to my life so be able to see so clearly, what those closer to me havn’t managed to articulate.
The harsh and grating truth can sometimes force you to confront things you didn’t even realise were issues. After a quick wave of despair, (how did I not realise all these things, why have I let this happen to myself) a sense of relief emerges and I suddenly feel more empowered to sort my shit out, ironically enough, only because someone had the guts to show me how much of myself i’ve lost.
To paraphrase the wise words ‘you’ve been sucked into a black hole, and you are barely even existing anymore’. Acceptance has led me to realise how out of control i’ve been, and has made me see how to snatch it back for myself. There is a light, somewhere in that black hole, and even though I can’t see it yet, knowing it’s there is enough to keep me fighting.
-J